pregnancy journey

Seeing photos of this growing belly are giving me all the feelings. About the time it took to get here, the hopelessness I sometimes felt in the years leading up to this moment. This journey hasn’t been a straight line, but a long, winding road. One that more than once left me feeling lost and alone.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant vividly—of seeing that blue line on the pregnancy test in the bathroom, the girls still asleep in their rooms and my husband already at work, the moment of disbelief followed by guttural, shaking sobs as I cried happy tears on the bathroom floor. Of looking down at my belly, still no trace of the life growing inside, and feeling such gratitude for the wish it had finally, after years of waiting and uncertainty, tenderly granted. I’ll never forget that sun-soaked, brilliant morning...

To the women waiting, wishing for this day: I have been where you are. I’ve known the disappointment and second guessing and anger and envy and hope and sadness. Hold on. Cling to that hope, that ember that burns down deep. Breathe life and love into it and don’t give up.

I waited seven years for this baby. For my Max. And now, just weeks away from seeing his sweet face, I look back on the winding path that brought us to this moment with such gratitude and clarity. This is the soul who was meant to join us. This boy, our boy. And the intricate, perfect timing that brought him to us could have happened no other way. It was him we were waiting for. It was him, all along.

Six short weeks til I can cover you with kisses, little love. It’ll be worth the wait.